Tattooed in the District

I live in Washington, D.C. and work in government. Follow along for awkward/ funny/embarrassing tattoo commentary from an outsider inside the Beltway.

Early metro ride…

"Hey! What do your wrists say?"
“My love, My way…”
“Ya know? I just love that you put it out. Like it’s your way or the highway. GOOD FOR YOU!”
“Ohh, thanks.”
“I’ve been online dating and all these guys…they’ve done what they’re supposed to do. The wife and the kids. And now all they want to do is play. And they have a lot of toys—like, ohh look! I have a Harley! Want to be my motorcycle chick? No, I don’t know! So, you know, it’s just really interesting dating in DC.”
“Ummm,yikes…”
“But you. You just tell them what it is…it’s your way! Maybe that should be my new motto.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her it’s a quote from a punk band in Iowa. Maybe she’ll have better luck dating now!
"How much was that tattoo?"

"Oh, I can’t remember. Got it in 2005."

"Don’t mean to stereotype but were you in the military?"

"Army."

"Marine."

"How much was that tattoo?"

"Oh, I can’t remember. Got it in 2005."

"Don’t mean to stereotype but were you in the military?"

"Army."

"Marine."

…walking to grab lunch…

"HEY! You’re my type of chick!" said (older) tattooed biker. 

"Thanks, man!"

…walking to grab lunch…

"HEY! You’re my type of chick!" said (older) tattooed biker.

"Thanks, man!"

"Hey! I like your tattoos!"

"Aw, thanks! Sweetest girl ever!"

Her mom—not as impressed.

"Hey! I like your tattoos!"

"Aw, thanks! Sweetest girl ever!"

Her mom—not as impressed.

The ugly version of Jeremy Meeks, “But your tattoos are like classy as hell. I got my moms name tattooed on my head. I got out of the jail and finally found my mom. She died six months later…why ain’t you married?”

The ugly version of Jeremy Meeks, “But your tattoos are like classy as hell. I got my moms name tattooed on my head. I got out of the jail and finally found my mom. She died six months later…why ain’t you married?”

"Ma’am, I just wanna let you know that I think your tattoos are AWESOME!" 

Fucking THANK YOU, CHICAGO. Thank you.
Passed a guy on the street and got a lot of side eye… 

"Look at all your tattoos! You’re covered in tattoos!"

"I know what I look like!" Fuck, DC.

Passed a guy on the street and got a lot of side eye…

"Look at all your tattoos! You’re covered in tattoos!"

"I know what I look like!" Fuck, DC.

*Woman is walking around me…*

"What. What are you doing?"
“I’m just looking…”
“…”
“Why don’t you have any tattoos on your back? Is your back sacred?”
“Stop walking around me in circles!”
The Jane Hotel. Bathroom talk. 

"I love your tattoos. I want more…"

"Oh, you should."

"I have this." (Girl shows me "f/11" tattooed on the inside of her arm.)

"Ah, yes. Nice!"

"A bunch of us got it. It’s an aperture…"

"Don’t worry. I get it…"

"Yeah because you’re totally arty too."
"So which ones are gang tattoos?"

"Wait…fucking seriously?!"

"So which ones are gang tattoos?"

"Wait…fucking seriously?!"